During the past few weeks I have written this post in my head over and over again, each version not quite right.
I've come to the conclusion there isn't a right way, for what has happened isn't right.
On 6th May Tony's brother Liam passed away.
He was 16.
This photo of the two of them was taken during our introduction week with Tony. It was the first time we met Liam. Even though the boys had been living apart for about 18 months in different foster homes the bond between them was still so strong.
The children's social worker told me that Liam at 5 years old had told her 'my birth family are like a rainbow, you want to reach out and touch them but they are always just out of reach.'
They say that children are resilient and that they can cope with a lot.
This may be true, but for some children they see too much and feel too much.
And the saddest thing is that this pain is caused by those who are supposed to love and care for them.
As the boys grew up circumstances meant that for the past 5 years they weren't able to see each other as frequently but as and when it was possible we made sure they did. And there were phone calls too, lots of phone calls. The boys last saw each other in March.
This week I took Tony to Norwich for Liam's funeral.
I am so very proud of Tony for the way he behaved towards others that day when he was hurting so much himself.
The vicar who took the service at the crematorium knew Liam and spoke about him with true affection. He said how he knew how we all felt cheated at losing Liam because he was such a star, his future was looking bright with the plans he was making and that should we look into the night sky and see a new star shining we could be certain it was for Liam.