Sunday, 1 June 2014

Liam

During the past few weeks I have written this post in my head over and over again, each version not quite right.

I've come to the conclusion there isn't a right way, for what has happened isn't right.

On 6th May Tony's brother Liam passed away.
He was 16.


This photo of the two of them was taken during our introduction week with Tony. It was the first time we met Liam. Even though the boys had been living apart for about 18 months in different foster homes the bond between them was still so strong.



The children's social worker told me that Liam at 5 years old had told her 'my birth family are like a rainbow, you want to reach out and touch them but they are always just out of reach.'


.

They say that children are resilient and that they can cope with a lot.
This may be true, but for some children they see too much and feel too much.
And the saddest thing is that this pain is caused by those who are supposed to love and care for them.



As the boys grew up circumstances meant that for the past 5 years they weren't able to see each other as frequently but as and when it was possible we made sure they did. And there were phone calls too, lots of phone calls. The boys last saw each other in March.

This week I took Tony to Norwich for Liam's funeral.
I am so very proud of Tony for the way he behaved towards others that day when he was hurting so much himself.

The vicar who took the service at the crematorium knew Liam and spoke about him with true affection. He said how he knew how we all felt cheated at losing Liam because he was such a star, his future was looking bright with the plans he was making and that should we look into the night sky and see a new star shining we could be certain it was for Liam. 


17 comments:

his_girl_friday said...

Such sad news. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Angel Jem said...

What sad news. My prayers go out for Tony and all your family. Bless you all x

Simone said...

Lisa, I don't know what to say. Give Tony a great big hug from me. x

Louise said...

Oh Lisa what terrible news, I'm so sorry to hear this. It must be awful for T, hope he's doing ok.

VintageVicki said...

So sad for all of you xx

Mitzi said...

So sorry to hear of Liams passing. You have every right to be proud of your boy. With your love and support he will be ok, Liam will always be a big part of T and he will go on to achieve big things for the both of them.

Diane said...

My heart just breaks for Tony. Even at his age now it must be so hard to come to terms with or even try to understand. I've heard people use that phrase saying children are resilient but I just don't see it. They are fragile, easily hurt and damaged. Liam looks such a beautiful child and deserved much more. Give Tony a big hug from me and let him know that I am thinking of him everyday.

Jo said...

Such terrible news. Sending lots of hugs to you all. xx

topchelseagirl said...

How very sad. I'm sure Tony will carry Liam with him always and do him proud. x

Jay said...

Oh Lisa I'm so sorry to hear this, sending a big hug to you all from me, and a specially big one for Tony. I hope you're all ok.

Loo xx from Jumbles and Pompoms said...

Oh Lisa, this is so tragic. I'm so sorry. Much love to you all. Xx

BadPenny said...

I'm sure you are all supporting Tony during such a sad time. Take care all of you x

Kezzie said...

Oh Lisa, I am so sorry! How hard for you and for Tony but what pride you must have in a young man who was so dignified at what must have been SUCH a hard situation and day for him, grieving for his lost brother. x

mrsmsmeanderings said...

So sad to read this, Lisa. Thoughts are with you all, especially T x

Kezzie said...

Thanks so much for your nice comment. How are you all doing?x

Gillian said...

Oh, I am so sorry. How young he was! I am thinking of you all, but especially Tony. x

lazylol said...

How sad, thinking of you all at this sad time x