Sunday, 7 March 2010

what a mess

Thank you for all the good wishes and messages concerning Melvin.
He had a check up at the vets yesterday and has another appointment next week too to check on his progress. He's going to have to eat a special type of cat food for the rest of his life to help lower the risk of another occurence.
He has been so affectionate since he came home, lots of bedtime snuggles and tummy tickles.


  1. Well you know what they say .... you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. It's very sad when family relationships go awry. I know from experience.
    Unfortunately hurtful words are remembered for a long time.
    Just wrap your arms around your own sweet family and cherish them. They are the most important part of your life.
    Love Kathy xxx

  2. Hi Lisa, I'm so sorry for the insults you got from your mum,I don't know anything about your family life and relationships, but you're such a lovely and sensitive person and both you and your hubby are special parents, I don't think you deserve to be treated in that way. Sending you a big hug xxxx

    p.s.I'm not a cat-person, but that Melvin is such a sweetie!

  3. My dear Lisa, I am so sorry for your sadness over this situation!! Of course all those comments were meant to hurt you!! Maybe your mum and sister have forgotten that it takes two to make a relationship, and it's always easy to blame the other person!! I find that when people say diffult to listen to thing, the best thing is do not react!! This is hard I know, but it's something I do myself!! I work on the theory - least said soonest mended! The other thing I do is - Dont think about it!! It gives it more power - don't do it!!! Also don't forget you lovely hubby and kids!! You have all the love you need right there!!
    Sending loving thoughts to you and your family! Keep your chin up my love!!

  4. Oh Lisa - what a shame...

    Families are flippin hard work, people seem to think that because they are related they can say what ever they want freely, without thought. & when it comes from family it seems to hurt more, don't you think?

    What Kathy say's is true though, wrap your arms around YOUR very special family - and you are the parent, so do as you & G feel is best. T

    Re G & your dad - My G would be upset for me & the little ones, that we were hurting through the loss, & perhaps for what might have been/ or wished for....

    Sending you a huuuuge hug & the wish that things become settled for you - or at least that your mum & sister learn to bit their tongues.

    Love Lydia xx

  5. Hi Lisa,

    Glad that Melvin is on the mend and you have at least one worry off your mind.

    As in regards to family. Well I often have said you cant live with family or shoot them! (joking of course) My DH and I have been to hell and back over the years and particularly last year things came to a head with his family. Most of it born out of snobbery and predujuiced towards me and my family. (we are not good enough apparenly) I could go on. But to say the emotional wounds that not only me and my DH bore, it also affected our two girls. And that in my book is a no no. DH has pretty much cut ties with his family now. As things had got so bad there is no going back. But we have a clear heart in regards to it all. And we are slowly healing -as our little family.

    Of course I dont know you and your family in any real sense, but I think you all seem such a wonderful family and at the end of the day that matters the most.

    Sending you (((hugs))) and hope things improve for you all.


  6. Poor you, Lisa, my sympathies. I do hope it resolves one way or another for you very soon. Such difficult things, sometimes, families, aren't they? xxxx

  7. HI Lisa, I'm so glad that Melvin is ok and that with the right diet he will be fine.

    Do you think that maybe what your mum and sister are saying actually says more about them than about you, It's much easier for them to blame you for things than actually face up to the reality that it might just be them, some people are just like that. I know I say some things sometimes that my family don't like, but a great deal of the time I just keep my true thoughts to myself so as not to cause a mighty row, even though they may not think so. It is very hard to deal with though, but don't forget you have your own family to love.

    Hope it all sorts itself out soon.

    Hugs RosieP x

  8. I'm am so sorry that you are having all these problems with the family.I am lucky that I have never had to deal with this kind of thing.It must be so hurtful for you and sad too.I can only hope things will be resolved eventually.

    Bellaboo :o)

  9. Ive emailed you sweetie - sod 'em - thats what I say. xxxx

  10. Hi Lisa!! Firstly, good news for Melvin I am pleased he is doing a lot better now, he looks very pleased with himself, hope he doesn't mind the specialist food, we tried some on our cats (as they have allergies) but they turn their nose up at it!) Sorry there is still so much stress in your life, sounds like you need a break from it all! Especially sorry that so many of your family relationships seem strained and poisoned right now, very harsh things seem to be thrown at you but I think you're right, they aren't considering life from your point of view, and some things (like your parenting choices) are your business not theirs, very hard to stay calm and dignified under fire but i think thats whats required here, ignore their hurtful comments and focus on your family unit and don't rise to their bait, they will hopefully get bored with their sniding and realise they are pushing you away not the other way around x

  11. Oh my friend, I'm so sorry!

    Firstly I'm so glad Melvin is better and is snuggly, what a sign he missed you!

    Secondly, family relationships are not easy. It's like a delicate dance where no one knows whose leading and whon is following. I think, one thing I've found very difficult when dealing with the older generation in my family is they often attack the person rather that say "it makes me feel like X when you do Y, I know you don't mean it, but could we discuss Z which might help", so much more emotionally healthy but not at all what they are used to.

    Re parenting, in my work I often say that people won't understand how you have to parent once you adopt, due to attachment, bonding, earlier life experiences etc. This is often a source of stress because people don't understand and voice their complaints loudly which are often based on ignorance.

    I can only imagine, and sadly understand, how hurtful it is when someone says something about a family member who has passed away. My Dad's sister always says he was stupid and how I musn't have gotten my brains from him since he didn't even pass his 11+. He didn't pass because he wasn't the oldest son and from what I gather he purposely skipped it! He was a smart man, everyone who knew him as an adult says he could discuss politics, geography, history etc but because he was an artist and athlete he was never appreciated in his family. When my aunt was sick I sent loads of food, ordered a weekly shop etc, but I can't be around that negativity. I know she can't help it, she just isn't emotionally healthy in her language, but I can't allow that to hurt my emotional well-being. I tell you this just to say, you are not alone.


  12. Glad Melvin is on the mend!

    Hope your family problems ease! Maybe a bit of breathing space on both sides would be beneficial xx
    Just think long and hard on what you wuld like to see as the outcome of this situation before you act. I'm sorry that you have had to suffer such hurtful words xxx

  13. Hi Lisa

    I'm very much in agreement with Dianes comment!

    Just know that I think you are lovely and I bet the kids think you are too!

    Maybe we need another go at the crochet?

    Clare xx

  14. Hi Lisa,
    Glad Melvins feeling a bit better, he looks lovely & snugly in your photo.
    Sounds like your having a time of it with your family at the moment.
    I think all the comments above give such lovely advice that I am just going to say, your a lovely, kind, caring person, a great mum & wife and I'm sure your a wonderful daughter & sister too.
    Keep Calm & Carry On.
    Big Hugs, Luv Sophie xxx

  15. Its interesting reading your difficulties with family I have been in a similar situation with my sister in law and her husband but unlike your family they choose not to tell me whats bugging them and this has gone on for years.I agree with everyone when they say cherish and love your own family and try to put these hurtful comments out of your mind.
    PS Just popped in to say hello by the way.